Sunday, April 28, 2013

Fainting at the Wheel

The most terrifying thing happened to me last night.  I was driving home from World Market and all of a sudden my peripheral vision started to turn gray and then within seconds the gray kept closing in on my eye sight until I had finally lost all vision.  Simultaneously, my heart started racing, as if I had just sprinted a hundred yards.  I was totally conscious and aware, but just couldn't see and thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  I started to slow down and reach around for my emergency lights, but couldn't find them so I turned on my blinker and remembered seeing (before I lost my vision) extra space at a bus stop to the right of me.  So I slowly started to pull over to what I hoped was the bus stop.  As soon as I pulled over, my vision slowly came back and my heart beat returned to normal.  Obviously, I was terrified.  I kept thinking "thank God the kids weren't in the car and thank God I wasn't driving 70 mph on the freeway" when this happened.  I called Joe in tears and told him I thought I'd be fine driving home.

I spoke to the on-call doctor at my OBGYN's office and she said it sounded like a vasovagal episode - basically a fainting episode brought on by a sudden dip in my blood pressure.  I remember feeling very thirsty in the store so maybe I was dehydrated which can cause fainting.  Who knows?  But it was terrifying.  I'm just thankful that the episode lasted only a few seconds.  I was driving without vision for only about 5 seconds.  I was lucky this didn't turn into a full fainting episode where I went unconscious at the wheel.  I would have been in an accident for sure.  And then what if I was on the freeway.  I know it's not helpful to think of the what-ifs but I can't help it.  There are very few times in my life when I remember being completely out-of-control of my own body.  And most of those times were due to drinking too many booze!

So that's it. That's the story.  Guess I need to make sure I'm staying hydrated.  The doctor also said that pregnant women are much more susceptible to sudden dips in blood pressure so just another thing to be aware of for all those pregnant gals out there.

Have a happy and SAFE Sunday readers!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Why Stay at Home Moms need Other SAHM Friends

A few days ago I was chatting with one of the other SAHMs in the neighborhood.  She grew up in Orange County and several of her high school friends live in the area.  I was saying how nice it must be for her to have so many of her closest friends living near by.  My close friends are spread between Los Angeles and New York City.  Her response surprised me.  She said that out of those close girl friends, she was the only SAHM.  Therefore, there were a ton of things she just didn't feel comfortable saying in front of her friends.  She said she shares more with me and some of her other mom friends in the neighborhood because we "get" it.  It dawned on me that this, too, is true for me.

Even amongst my family, there are just things I know they won't really "get" because they work and I'm at home.  For example, if I tell one of the other SAHMs that my house is not only sparkling clean, but I have dinner in the crock pot and it's only 3 pm, they are impressed and giving me the verbal pat on the back that any co-worker would do for a job well done at the office.  Those who are not at home during the day might think - wtf?! Big deal - you have ALL DAY to get that stuff done.  Why do you want a gold star for doing what you should be doing?  But ask any mother/father/caregiver of young children if they accomplish their daily tasks while taking care of the kiddos, and I'm willing to be bet big money on it, their answer would be "no." 

Furthermore, being a SAHM can be very isolating if you don't have that network of other STAHMs, especially if your kids are in the baby stage and don't talk.  I truly look forward to the afternoons when I take Liam outside to play with his neighborhood buddies.  The moms and I talk about our days and we all have very similar days so no one is judgmental or thinking "gosh, must be nice to have the time to take a walk or get your nails done."  Because, yes, these are some perks.  And there are a ton of perks.  I love that I don't have to do my Trader Joe's shopping during evening shopping rush hour like I used to have to do when I worked.  And I can take Marlo to P.T. and Liam to swim lessons in the middle of the day and not be a slave to my work schedule. 

But there are many more "I want to poke my eye balls out" days than there are "Man, I am rocking this STAHM thing and happily sipping Chardonnay while my children play peacefully in the backyard" days.  I have been told by other SAHMs that the "I want to poke my eye balls out" days start to ebb as soon as kids are in elementary school, but then you have homework, the monkey on your back, and that's a drag.  So, being at home is one long road...I love in Tina Fey's book Bossypants, there is a chapter that begins like this: "The days are long, the years are short - Stay at Home Moms and Sex Workers."  It's true.  The days are long.  So long sometimes.  But just yesterday I was thinking about what we will do for Liam's 4th birthday and I just couldn't believe that I am already four years into this mothering thing.  Because the years truly are short.  I remember Liam as a baby like it was yesterday - his spaghetti covered face, the silly sound he'd make when he was excited (I would call him the fire breathing dragon when he made this silly sound), the way he looked when he slept and how he slept with his knees tucked under him and his little tush high in the air, the way he'd stand on the couch looking out the window for Joe to come home from work. 

So to bring this post full circle, it is a blessing to be home, but it's not work for the weary. And us SAHMs need other SAHMs just like any professional needs other professionals to chat with for feedback, social time, and boss bitching.  And it's a real doozie when your boss throws tantrums and there is no HR to step in!  Imagine that...

So, to all the stay at home moms out there who have been a support to me: thank you for your friendship, thank you for being my co-workers and confidantes, and thank you for understanding the crust on my pants, the oil in my hair, and the mysterious white stuff on my cheek. 

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Pregnancy Round 3 and Cloth Diapering Refelctions

Just a few days ago one of the neighborhood gals asked how I was feeling, and I responded with a beaming smile, "I'm on the up and up.  Feeling like my normal self again!" The very next day, I felt like I couldn't get out of bed, had the active gag reflex all day - pretty much first trimester text book sickness all day.  Ugh.  But to honest, those days have been far and few between.  I'm not sure if this first trimester really has been easier or if I've just been so busy with two kids that I just haven't had time to fixate on it?  Probably a little bit of both.  I never stopped taking my prenatal vitamins since I was still nursing Marlo when I got pregnant so maybe that helped a bit.

I'm looking forward to seeing my OBGYN next week and welcoming the second trimester, usually the highlight of pregnancy - not sick, not too fat - just happy and pregnant.  If everything goes well at the appointment, Joe and I will let Liam in on the big news.  As I posted before, he's already been asking questions about my growing belly.  And he for sure understands the concept of getting a new sibling whereas when we told him about Marlo he was two and it was still pretty abstract.

On to cloth diapering!  I am LOVING it!  Seriously, so many moms have asked me about the hassle of the cleaning and the laundry, and I've found that it's the only laundry I look forward to doing.  No joke.

Cloth Diaper Laundry pile
 
 


 I also love that the best possible materials are on my baby's skin - and on some important body parts!  When I started this CDing journey, I did it because I didn't want harmful chemicals on my baby's skin and I've never liked the textural feeling of a disposable diaper - I wouldn't want to wear one - they seem itchy and uncomfortable.  But I am surprised by how good I feel about not adding to the waste of the world.  I saw this as an added bonus to be a bit greener, but it truly is remarkable how much less waste is created - no brainer, but didn't impact me until I got rid of the diaper genie and stopped bagging up sposies (this is the cloth diapering world's term for disposables - I love it). 

Now, I  have told Joe that we will be having another baby after this one.  You heard me right people.  I want to make sure my cloth diapering investment is well worth it!!  But really, it has been a bit of an investment since I'm getting high end diapers.  These diapers are not only adorable, but they have an incredible fit, last forever, and have a great resale value.  I know what you're thinking - who the hell would want to buy something from someone else that has been crapped in?! Well, there are a lot of mamas out there who are paying good money for resale cloth diapers. 

The brand of diapers that I've invested in, Twinkie Tush, actually holds the title for the world's most expensive cloth diaper.  The Twinkie Tush "Ella" has been auctioned and sold for $460.00.  You can check out the link here.http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com/the-most-expensive-cloth-diapers-in-the-world/
The most I've spent on one diaper is $50 which is still pricey.  But I figure that as long as I keep it in good condition, I can sell it for $40 when we're done using it.

Here are some adorable bum shots...

 
 
 
This is a cute wool cover - put over cloth diapers at night to prevent any leaking.
 
 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Hello World Of Cloth Diapering!

As of yesterday, Marlo is being cloth diapered!  And I plan on doing so for the new little bean this fall.  I figured since I exclusively breastfeed, co-sleep, and make my own baby food, I might as well go full on granola mama! 

No really, it's been a hard choice for me.  I guess I was just intimidated by it all at first.  The learning curve was a bit steep as I was learning about how to cloth diaper. There are all these different kinds: prefolds, AIO, AI2, fitted, hybrids, pockets...the list goes on.  And the idea of dealing with poop on fabric and the whole cleaning thing just gave me the heebie jeebies.  But I am lucky to know to amazing clothing diapering women who have been my teachers and have made the learning process so much easier.

The bottom line - I want the best fabric on my kids' butts.  Yep.  I mean, I love the fact that I won't be contributing to the world's landfills as much, but when it comes down to it, I just don't want chemicals on my kids' genitals.  For about a month I was using the Honest company disposable diapers which are wonderful because they are plant based and contain no harmful chemicals.  But when I started to research the wonders of cloth diapering I fell in love, especially if you invest in some high end diapers.  My cloth diapering gurus introduced me to Twinkie Tush cloth diapers.  And oh are these incredible.  My friend Francie described it as "Putting the world's softest pillow on your baby's behind."  And not to mention the prints are to die for - this place restocks once a week their cloth diapers and they are usually sold out within minutes.  No joke.  Today there was a sale for a diaper of the month club membership.  There were 20 slots and they sold out in 5 seconds.  These cloth diapering mamas mean business.  And, yes, I did get a spot in the club! Yahoo!

I will upload some pics of Marlo in her new diapers when I get a chance.  Excited about this new journey.  And glad that I'm starting now and not with a newborn baby.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

No more Hiding it Now

This evening as I was reading Liam his bedtime story, he started giggling and playing with my stomach and asked me, "Mommy is there another baby in there or are you just eating a lot."  I had to start to laughing.  And I didn't want to tell him the truth, that in November, if all goes well, a little special somebody will be joining the family.  So I just said, "I don't know?  Maybe I'm just eating a lot."

It's actually been hard for me not write about my pregnancy on my blog, but it's been a bit of a rough start.  And I'm still not out of the woods.  I'm about 9 weeks along and at 5 and half weeks I started bleeding a ton.  It was so bloody, and we're talking bright red blood, that I thought for sure I was miscarrying.  I've never had a miscarriage, but what else could it be?  I saw my OBGYN that afternoon and had already prepared to be told I was miscarrying.  So when my doctor said it wasn't a miscarriage I was shocked for sure.  The bleeding was caused by a hematoma in my uterus.  Basically, there is a blood clot between where the baby is and the placenta attached.  On the ultrasound picture I have, you can see this huge black mass (the clot) and then you can see where the placenta is attached and then where it is not attached due to the clot.  The good news - these clots usually resolve by around 13 weeks - they are accompanied with bleeding which is scary but usually they go away.  In some cases when they stick around into the second trimester they can cause some serious issues, the most common being placental abruption - placenta detaches completely from uterus and causes preterm labor.  Very serious stuff.

My OBGYN is hopeful that my clot will resolve before the second trimester.  Unfortunately, size matters and my clot is pretty huge.  But the baby has been growing and has a strong heartbeat so because baby is thriving despite gigantic clot with only a partially attached placenta, he thinks baby will make it through.  It's nerve racking for sure and it's been hard for me to get excited about this baby since it's been a rough start.  And I didn't want to blog about it and then have to depress everyone if things don't go well.  But honestly, if I miscarried, I would blog about it anyway whether or not I had come clean about being pregnant.  So, there you have it.

And as for Liam noticing, well, that's just hilarious because I'm showing at 9 weeks.  It's sad really.  It took me until about 4-5 months with Liam and Marlo before I showed.  Check out the picture of me at the top of my blog - my wedding day, I was 4 months pregnant here and barely showing.  By baby number three there are no abdominal muscles left, just flabby gut.  On the bright side, I guess I started this pregnancy out about 10 pounds underweight so I get to gain a few extra this time around.  This is pretty funny to me because anyone who knows me would never think I'm underweight. Sure, I'm slim, but by no means underweight.  According to my doctor, though, I've got to pack on a few more.  Done and done. Already 5 lbs. up.  Me eat extra?  Never a problem.

Hope to report good news with this little bun in the next few weeks!  Gah!  My children will outnumber Joe and me...now that is terrifying!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

When Expensive Really is Better

I've never been a big spender.  Never.  I was a Marshall's kid growing up.  My mother always told me that pretty girls don't have to wear flashy or expensive clothes because it's their beautiful face everyone wants to look at.  I've lived by this advice from my mother.  I suppose it was her little way of keeping my desire for expensive clothing at bay and boosting my self-confidence, but, hey, it worked.  I've never owned expensive clothes and I've always known my mother thinks I'm beautiful.  The most expensive piece of clothing I own is my wedding dress and it was $250.  That's right people.  My wedding dress cost $250.  I never understood why anyone would spend thousands of dollars on something they wore one day (granted a very special day).  I get why people spend big bucks on the most gorgeous diamond ring because you wear that everyday, but a dress?!  I knew my dress didn't look like it was worth $5,000, but I thought is could pass for $500 or $600. 

Anywho, about 3 weeks ago I purchased a new laptop.  I was debating whether to get a Mac or this Acer PC that I'm using now.  Joe said the choice was up to me; he didn't care either way.  But when it came down to it, I just didn't see the point in spending about $600-$700 more for the Mac.  I mean, I'm a stay at home mom.  I use my laptop for internet surfing, checking FB and my email, and writing this here blog.  I don't need a Mac, please. 

Yesterday, after I installed my printer software, I found that my 3 week old laptop had some kind of software error.  And I have a anti-virus and all, but still, somehow, something happened and my laptop got infected.  I called the Acer support line and despite the fact that I could barely understand the agent due to his thick accent, I could clearly understand the part when he said to fix the issue it would be $149!!!!!!!!!!!!!My response: "What the f--k! Please explain to me how this is my issue and not a sh-tty manufacturing issue."  I was mad, boy, was I mad.  And I'm not someone who uses this type of language...with strangers. 

The agent went on to explain that it most likely happened when I was on some "inappropriate" website.  So, not only was this guy charging me $149 for a defective brand new laptop, but he was pretty much insinuating that I look at porn after my kids go to sleep, because that's what us stay at home moms love to do - eat bon bons at watch porn!

Ugh...so I feel like I should have just gone with the Mac.  I'm sure I wouldn't have an issue with it after only 3 weeks and I wouldn't be insulted by someone from the genius bar (at least I'd hope not).  I hate to admit this, but the older I get, the more I realize that sometimes paying more really does get you better quality.  Not a fan of this realization.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Dragging my Feet

Seems likes it's been forever since I've written a post.  Last week was just exhausting.  Joe was out of town again and the kids were not, I mean NOT, sleeping.  It got so bad one night instead of trying to put two crying kids to sleep, I turned on Dora the Explorer at 3 am.

I wish this experience on no one.
 
 
My mother-in-law saved me and came down for a few days to visit and help out.  She was a huge help.  Again, I am so very grateful that we have family nearby.
 
 
Joe got back late Saturday afternoon so he was able to enjoy Sunday's festivities.  Our street had an egg hunt at 9 am.  It was adorable.  I need to upload the video to share.  But it was precious.  Even though we don't celebrate Easter in our house, everyone loves an Easter egg hunt, and how could we let Liam miss out?!  We had our Passover Seder that evening.  It wasn't a Seder night, but Joe was out of town and it's hard for everyone to get off from work early so we called our Seder an Eastover Seder.
 
The  food we had was delicious! My mother-in-law made her brisket, which is to die for, and we had plenty of tasty side dishes.  Hopefully when the kids are older we can have our Seder on one of the real Seder nights.

Other than not sleeping well last week the kids are great.  Liam started swim lessons again which is great for him, but a pain in the you know what for me.  The lessons are Mon-Thru, for 15 minutes. I have to drive over to Laguna Niguel, which is a good 12 min.  So the whole trip there and back (include changing in and out of clothes) becomes an hour for a 15 minute lesson.  Nuts, I know.  But this woman is amazing.  I know she will get him to swim independently by May, when our session ends.  I can't have two kids hanging on me in the pool this summer.
Sorry for the side ways pic - but here he is floating on his own.
 
 
I'm making an extra effort this week to eat a bit healthier.  I had one of my lowest and most shameful eating experiences on Monday - I ate three Cadbury Cream Eggs at 9 am because I was hungry and too lazy to make myself something healthy.  Seriously, embarrassing and disgusting.  I was so ashamed that I immediately made myself a super healthy kale shake.  I shared it with Marlo and she loved it.
 
Kale smoothie smile
 
 
Lack of sleep and an overload of sugary food will surely make you drag your feet.  Wish me luck on my healthy eating mission.  I'm about to watch the recorded season premiere of Real Housewives of Orange County - kind of excited since I am now an OC housewife myself!