The Giving Tree

Last year, when I was studying and preparing to convert to Judaism, our class instructor, Rabbi Gotlieb, went on a tangent about the children’s book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.  I don’t remember how the tangent got started, but the discussion left quite an impression on me.  Rabbi Gotlieb said he absolutely hated the book because the little boy is so selfish and keeps taking from the tree, and the tree keeps getting used and duped by the boy.  He said that if the tree was a real person, and this was an authentic human to human relationship, the tree would end up hating the boy by the time the boy returns to the tree as an old man and uses the stump of the tree to rest his weary and aging body.

                I gave the rabbi’s thoughts some serious consideration.  I’ve always had fond memories of The Giving Tree.  It is a children’s literature classic – who doesn’t have a great memory of their kindergarten teacher reading it during story time on the reading rug?  But the rabbi had a point – if this was a human relationship, would the tree hate the boy?  Was the little boy just a spoiled, selfish little brat who just took and took from the tree?

So, this morning, on Thanksgiving Day, I pulled the book from Liam’s bookshelf, and I reread The Giving Tree.  And I’ve come up with two different interpretations that challenge the wise rabbi.  One: the tree represents motherhood.  Although Silverstein keeps the tree gender neutral, the tree gives of her entire body.  And this is motherhood.  I think this is exaggerated in motherhood right after baby is born, especially if mother is breastfeeding, but it extends past that first year.  (Or if you’re like my husband and you were breastfed until age three, then past the toddler years!)  The tree gives the boy love, companionship, branches to swing from, apples to eat and sell, wood to build his home, and finally a stump to rest upon.  The tree loves the boy unconditionally and not only shows this through being selfless and giving, but shows this through always being there for the boy.  The tree is a constant in the boy’s life.  Sometimes it is years before the boy returns to the tree, but the tree is still there and welcoming.  I suppose this is what motherhood is like when children become young adults and leave home.  They won’t come home every night, and depending on where they live, they may only come home once a year, but as mothers (and parents) we are expected to accept this growth and continue to be welcoming.  And Silverstein does not leave the tree without feelings.  After the boy grows older and doesn’t visit the tree much, the tree is lonely.  Her true happiness is when the boy returns.

Two: the tee is a hyperbolized character in literature who exemplifies the ultimate being of giving.  Often in literature, character traits are exaggerated.  There are classic archetypes in literature: prince charming, the wicked step-mother, the evil villain who loses in the end, the boy/girl who goes from rags to riches from good deeds, etc.  No one reads about these characters and expects them to represent authentic human beings because their lives and circumstances are so extreme that they are beyond reality.  We learn from these characters easily since their motivations are so transparent.  The tree loves the boy unconditionally and continuously gives without regret or an expectation of a return.   

In her book on writing, Bird by Bird, Ann Lamott writes: “We like certain characters because they are good or decent – they internalize some decency in the world that makes them able to take a risk or make a sacrifice for someone else.  They let us see that there is in fact some sort of moral compass still at work here, and that we, too, could travel by this compass if we so choose.”  The tree is this moral compass pointing us in the direction of giving without wanting.  Not many of us can say we give like the tree, but reading The Giving Tree is a reminder that decency is still alive and we can choose to give to others – the choice is ours. 

So, Rabbi Gotlieb and all others who think the tree a weak character, consider the tree as a moral compass – not as a representation of an actual person.  And I don’t think the boy needs to be analyzed much in the story – the tree is the character who teaches us about life and being a better person.  I’m sure no one would argue with me saying that the world would be a better place if we all gave a little more to those in need – if we all had a little more of the giving tree within us.  Happy Thanksgiving!