This past weekend we took the kids to see their big sister,
Gabbie, who lives with her mom and baby brother in Philadelphia. It was a pivotal trip for many reasons. It was the first time the sisters were
meeting, it was the first time Joe and I have seen Gabbie since our wedding, it
was the first time we were meeting Gabbie’s new baby brother, born three months
before Marlo – the list goes on. But
for me, the most important take away from the trip was that I have three
children, not just two.
I have always called Gabbie, Joe’s daughter. Although she is my stepdaughter, I have never
really felt that she was my daughter. We
don’t get to see her often and I would never want her to feel uncomfortable with
having to refer to me as another mother or whatnot. But this weekend made me realize that I am
another mother to her. I am not the
mother to her that I am to Liam or Marlo, but I am responsible for loving her
as I love Liam and Marlo. Gabbie knows
that Liam and Marlo are her siblings.
They are her family. Actually,
the entire weekend, Liam just referred to her as “my big sister” instead of
Gabbie. It was as if he was showing off
her title to everyone and claiming her as “his.” Gabbie also called me “Mommy” a few times…this
completely surprised me, but was so touching.
It was obvious that she wants us all to know that we are family.
It was heartbreaking to see how much Liam loves Gabbie. I just wish we were closer to her. I know Joe got to visit Gabbie more when he
didn’t have me, Liam, and Marlo in the picture.
Any trip is easier to take without kids.
And it’s a shame because the trips with Gabbie’s siblings are the ones
that she will enjoy the most. I am
hoping that in the future we will be able to plan our trips to see her
differently. For the past 10 years Joe
has always made it a three day trip. But
the quick turn around when you’re traveling with two young children is enough
to make any sane person nuts – not to mention exhausted. I hated that for most of the trip I felt like
I had to tape my eye lids open and Liam (although he was having a blast) was
also having some intense tantrums due to his exhaustion.
Now that Gabbie is getting older, we are hoping that she
will be able to come visit us in California.
I know she would love staying with us for a week or so – seeing Disneyland,
going to the beach…and doing these things with her brother and sister.
Here are a few of my favorite pics from the trip:
Gabbie and Marlo
It's cool that she's young enough to see you as a mother figure and you get a chance to be more of a family together. My dad remarried when I was in my 20's and it was not a great situation. Now that my dad is not alive, my sister and I keep up with his second wife because we have a half sister who is 8 and we are her only sibs. But I will never feel even remotely like his second wife is anything like a mom to me. Actually it's even hard to feel like my half sister is my sister because she's so much younger than I am. She feels more like a niece or cousin. But anyway. Good that the family blending is going so nicely over there. And ugh, a 3 day turnaround cross country trip. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteAlso word verification! It burns! If you could remove it, it would be very nice.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know I could remove it! Ok! Will get on it! Didn't know you had a younger sis...you're right though - I'm lucky that Gabbie is young!
ReplyDelete