Something's Gotta Give

This morning I woke up, looked over at Joe who was playing with Marlo in our bed, and grumbled, "I'm just so tired.  Aren't you exhausted?"  Joe's response, "Yep, but I've been living off of no sleep for 12 years so I've gotten used to it."

I am consistently amazed at how well my husband deals with the little amount of sleep he gets.  And he never complains about it.  And he is never in a bad mood.  I feel like I am always on the verge of passing out from exhaustion and taking deep breathes so I don't lash out at my three year old or husband.  I mean, I don't have a bad temper or anything, but I know that I am a bit more (okay, a lot more) high strung than Joe.  He's the kind of guy you want to be with when there is an earthquake or a building on fire - he is always calm and always knows what to do.  I thank God every day that I got to marry this man.

Our one year anniversary is this Tuesday and when I think about this year, we have done a lot!  In one year we had a baby, moved to a new city, Joe started a new job, we bought a new house, and (as of Monday) we will have gone through and completed an entire adoption.  Phew!  And I can honestly say the key to all of this turning out successfully is that I married the man who has the patience of Job.  I'm pretty sure moving, starting a new job, and having a baby are all on the list of life's most stressful events.  Well, we did all three of these in the same week - no exaggeration here.  We moved and Joe started his new job exactly one week after Marlo was born.

I know I have to learn from example and be more patient, more relaxed, and get less flustered at life's everyday hardships.  Joe can't be the savior every year of our marriage.  I know I need to start small in order to manage this undertaking.  So, I have decided to commit to the following three thing:

1.) Stop sending guilt ridden texts to my husband while he is working hard at the office to bring home the bacon.  I assume I just need an outlet for my frustrations during the day, but I have gotten into the habit of sending Joe a text to get some anger off my chest.  My latest text was sent yesterday after Liam kept grabbing toys out of Marlo's hand and making her cry.

 Text from Kari: "I am so done with children right now.  Need to figure something out - losing it!!!"
Text back from Joe: "See if you can sell them to help offset the cost of your new iPhone."

If I was Joe, I would have sent a pissy text back saying something about being too busy to deal with it.  But that isn't Joe.  Instead he sends a humorous text back that is just as ridiculous as my text.  I laugh when I read it and am immediately not angry and remember why I love this man so much.

2.) Figure out better systems in our home so my life is not a perpetual state of cleaning and cooking food.     I am not sure how to remedy this.  I would love ideas from other moms about how they keep up their homes.  I've been told to do dinner prep when the kids are napping, do 10 minute family power cleans where everyone pitches in, and I've been told to just hire some more help.  Thoughts out there?  Do I just need to implement better systems at home or do I need to hire some folk?  (As of right now we have a cleaning lady that comes once every two weeks and Liam is in school from 9-12 five days a week.)  Joe's duties (or duty rather): take out the trash cans on Tuesday night.

3.) Create more time for myself.  I am making a commitment to set up date nights, see my friends, and do the things that make me happy. 

We are starting with one date night a month.  I hope this changes to every other week, but I want this to be a success so we're starting small. I know we can do one date night a month.

I am thrilled that several of my friends are having and have had babies this year.  This will make getting together much easier since we can do kid friendly activities. I am in a new city though and there is that added element of making friends in the OC so I don't always have to trek up to LA to hang with my buds.  It so bizarre to be making friends as an adult.  I feel like that is a challenge that should be limited to your school going years.  But here I am, making new friends.  I've met several gals in my neighborhood that are sweet, funny, and good company.  I am making sure that I get together with these gals sans kids before the summer ends.

Lastly, I want to cut out time in my schedule for yoga and writing.  I used to practice daily and now I probably can't touch my toes - sad.   And I love writing - I just need to set aside the time to do it!

Here's to setting new goals and to keeping them!  Date night is tonight - in-laws are coming down to watch the kiddos!